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“Premium economy, one-way ticket.” Erlich takes him up on the offer. As he tries to pass the hat for donations at Hacker Hostel, I asked myself, “Hasn’t this guy ever heard of GoFundMe?” Miller’s departure, though it initially seems in doubt because Erlich is too broke to afford a plane ticket. So this is how Silicon Valley handles T.J. “Richard, it seems you and I are not.” Using a postcard from Gavin as an invitation (“That postcard was addressed to me,” whines Richard), Erlich decides to join the disgraced former Hooli CEO on his Tibetan quest for inner peace. “There are people who are destined for greatness, and there are not,” continues Erlich. After burning down his palapa in last week’s episode, Erlich has concluded that both he and Richard are cursed: “Every time we got a whiff of success, a giant pelican by the name of fate takes a four-and-a-half-pound shit on top of us!” Erlich’s choice of bird is a nice in-joke: Alcatraz, the setting of Erlich’s biggest disaster, is also an archaic Spanish word for pelican. “She’s brilliant!” Everyone’s optimistic about pulling this tech heist off … except Erlich. “No wonder Mia’s in prison,” says Gilfoyle upon hearing her suggestion. The camera movement makes us feel Dinesh’s panic, but he still comes off as a ripe bastard when he drops yet another dime on poor Mia to ensure she’ll wind up in a maximum-security penitentiary. I will destroy that motherfucker!” As Mia rants, director Mike Judge executes a slow, scary zoom toward Dinesh, injecting the frame with a shocking jolt of claustrophobia. “I think I can get online at the prison library,” she says, “If so, I will track down who ratted me out. Then, as she used to do during their post-coital cuddling, Mia tells Dinesh of her latest illegal plan. “You’d just launch a man-in-the-middle attack with pineapples,” she says. For now, Mia provides the answers Dinesh needs. A fearful Dinesh continues to lie to her about his whereabouts, because if she were to find out he’s the reason she’s incarcerated, Mia will make his technological existence a never-ending nightmare. Cut to him visiting his super-hacker ex-girlfriend Mia in prison. “I like it,” says Gilfoyle of the plan, “but we need a black-hat ninja for this.” Everyone looks at Dinesh. How many of you looked at your phone’s app list after this scene and discovered Richard was right? “Nobody deletes their old apps,” says Richard. “They’ll delete the Hooli app after the conference,” says Dinesh.
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But in order for the plan to work, the Pied Piper app must stay resident in everyone’s phone.
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“As a product of forced adoption, I can tell you there will be consequences,” warns Jared. “Think of it as forced adoption through aggressive guerilla marketing,” counters Richard. He correctly refers to Richard’s programmatic intrusion as malware. Of course, Jared, our resident empath and conscience, objects to this breach of computer etiquette.
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Users will unknowingly be running PP:TNG in their phones, and no one will notice because they’re used to the shitty nature of free Wi-Fi. All he needs is 123,000 phones to successfully store Dan Melcher’s data. Now, I can tell you that this free Wi-Fi is always terrible - it’s as slow as molasses running down a hill in winter - but speed doesn’t matter to Richard.
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“Hooli-Con” takes this notion to its literal, Galaxy Note 7–worthy extreme.īut how did we get to this explosive moment? Let’s go back to the previous night, when Richard and the gang hatched a plan to infiltrate HooliCon’s server to install Pied Piper: The New Generation to piggyback on the Hooli app required to connect to the convention center’s free Wi-Fi.
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I’m on the attendee side this time, which means no setting up booths, no last-minute equipment and/or logistical nightmares, no freaking out when my company’s swag doesn’t get delivered, and most important, no demos! As I told you back in “ Proof of Concept,” demos always blow up. conference not unlike the one depicted in this season’s penultimate episode of Silicon Valley. Greetings from Chicago, where I am attending an I.T.
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